Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

The right word spoken to you can be like honey:  It soothes the throat right away.  Bless the people who have the wisdom to utter to you just the right words at the right time.

I walked into his office flustered, stating “My wife is driving me crazy”!  And my doctor immediately retorted, “Isn’t that what all wives do?”  I felt like he gave me back my life.  I was not that unusual.

I have been dealing with depression after meeting with my nephrologist several weeks ago.  I mentioned that to the other doctor and he said, “That seems perfectly normal considering the life changes the other doctor was contemplating you undergoing.”

I felt better after his statement.  It did not take away my depression but at least I felt it was normal being depressed under those circumstances.  And I just had to work through it.

That is why it is so important not to isolate yourself.  When you talk to others outside the home you often find out other people are experiencing the same thing or what you are going through is perfectly normal.

You never find out those things out if you stay in your house and do not talk to others.  An apt word spoken just at the right time can soothe your fears which often run wild if kept to themselves.

Remember, ‘No man is an island’.  These words of John Donne have calmed many a person when they decided to stop isolating themselves.  It is amazing how many times the right advice can soothe yours fears that have run wild in the confines of your home.

We are really wired to be social “animals” and have much more in common with one another than we realize but we have to take a chance and reach out to others.  Then we find that out.  It is not necessary to do it alone.

Tags: a lot in common, apt word, calm, depression, doctor, don't do it alone, don't isolate yourself, fears run wild, God, John Donne, life changes, like honey, my wife, nephrologist, no man is an island, normal, reach out to others, right advice, social animals, soothe your fears, stay in your house, talk to others, the right word, wisdom, work through it
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You can’t stop dreaming no matter what your circumstances no matter how ill or uncertain your future is.  In the words of Bob Dylan, ‘When you are not being busy being reborn, you are dying’.

You have to have a reason to get up each day.  You have to believe you have a future.  Dreaming provides that.

No one knows exactly how much time they have on earth.  Of course if you have a chronic condition you may think your days are numbered.  Nevertheless, you have to make the most of each day.

Love with abandon.  Everyone around you.  I do not think there is a greater calling.  So you do not wallow in self-pity.  Nurture your dreams and follow some of them until your time runs out.

Do not regret the time you wasted on your death bed.  You only have one life, so live it fully.  Then there will be no regrets–only the satisfaction of a life well spent.  So nurse your dreams.

Tags: believe you have a future, Bob Dylan, chronic condition, days are numbered, death bed, don't stop dreaming, dream, follow your dreams, life well spent, live life fully, love with abandon, no greater calling, no regrets, nuture your dreams, only one life, reason to get up each day, time on eath, uncertain future, wallow in self-pity
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Time is the most precious thing you possess.  All of a sudden, money does not mean anything when you realize your time is running out.

This realization has become sharper to me:  I may not make it to my seventieth birthday.  I am trying to work through my depression that descended after my last visit with my nephrologist.  The report was not good.

I did some research and found out the mortality rate of people put on dialysis was depressing:  over twenty per cent die the first year and over two thirds in a five year period.

I could be facing my end.  Material things did not matter much any more.  Time can not be bought.  It is the most precious thing you possess.  This was all brought to the forefront.  And I did not want to waste it.

Tags: cannot buy time, depressing, depression, dialysis, do not waste time, face my end, material things do not matter much, money, mortality rate, nephrologist, time, time cannot be bought, time is precious, time running out
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The isolation you impose on yourself is bad because the problems you face become inflated.  When you break your silence and share your problems with trusted friends, you gain more of a proper perspective of your problems.

When you go beyond the borders of your house and mix with others, you usually find out others are also dealing with difficulties sometimes even worse than yours.

My favorite Norman Vincent Peal anecdote is when he was once walking with a acquaintance and this person ranted and railed about all the difficulties he was undergoing.

Norman interrupted the person in the middle of his conversation and asked him, “Do you want to know where you can go where you will no longer have problems?”  And the person exhorted him to tell him that immediately and Norman simply pointed to the ground.

Sometimes we forget difficulties are just normal state of affairs and we need someone to remind us of that fact.  Isolating yourself prevents you, often, from finding this elementary fact.

When you connect with someone and suddenly during the course of the conversation you find this out there is often a sigh of relief from you.

Life is full of problems and worries and concerns and it is important to find out yours are really not that unique and all are part and parcel of being alive.

Tags: being alive, break the silence, concerns, connect with someone, death, difficulties, difficulties are normal, do not isolate yourself, get out of the house, God, isolation is bad, life, life full of problems, Norman Vincent Peale, perspective, problems, problems inflated, share your problems, sigh of relief, trusted friends, worries
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The isolation that follows depression is the worst thing about it.  It is self perpetuating:  you feel all alone and then depressed.  You are depressed, thus you feel alone.  It is a vicious cycle.

Somehow you need to break it.  In the beginning it is very difficult.  I was there.  I started to think of everything I should be grateful for.

Some things were material like the fence we made taller this year so all our dogs could be contained in our yard.  One dog could jump the fence and we wanted him to run wild again.

Four dogs who love me all in their own way was a thing to be thankful for.  I had a special relationship with one–“Tilla.”  That was no small thing.

I had to look for a crack in my depression.  At first it would be small but if I continued it would get bigger and bigger.  Finding things to be grateful for was a start.

Tags: be grateful, break the cycle, crack in my depression, depression, difficult, dogs, dogs love me, feel all alone, fence, find things to be grateful for, four dogs, isolation, material things, pets, self-perpetuating, small crack, thankful, Tilla, vicious cycle, yard
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I watch plants grow.  The tomatoes still on the vine I am keeping a close eye on.  Periodically I check the ten day forecast:  frost has not come yet although October is in the second week.  I will pluck off the remaining tomatoes before the temperature hits 32 degrees overnight.

Sometimes I just pay attention to the plants growing wild.  I observed how beautifully colored that swath of grass was–a deep burgundy.  I never paid attention to those wild grasses before.

You never know what you will notice growing wild (or even in the confines of your home).  A few weeks ago I discovered one tiny mushroom in my ivy plant.  The next time I looked it was gone.

My wife planted a twig of a cactus in a coffee cup on the kitchen window ledge and it must have sprouted roots for I observed it growing.  It was only a tiny discovery but it still gave me pleasure to observe.

Some indoor plants I do not pay attention to for days and sometimes weeks and then I suddenly notice it has grown.

Even in NYC where almost everything is paved over people want to connect with nature.  My friend whose party I went to, his whole kitchen window was full of plants.

Everywhere I go people like watching plants grow.  It is their connection to nature and the outdoors.

Tags: burgundy, cactus, connect to nature, frost, God, indoor plants, ivy plant, kitchen window, mushroom, my wife, nature, NYC, October, outdoors, tomatoes, watch plants grow, wild grasses, wild plants, window ledge
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‘Life is but a vapor.’  King Solomon’s words in the Bible.  If that is true and it is so what’s the point?  Your life will be over before you know it.

He tempers those words in the Old Testament with the statement and I am paraphrasing:  It is a gift to enjoy our life.

The Greek has several words for the word “time” and right now they escape me.  Nevertheless, one means the chronological passage of time and another means the significance of that point in time.

It is true, time seems, in retrospect, to flee you but not all points have similar value to you.  It is the points in time that have significance to us so don’t despair over the passing in time.

Cherish the moments you have been given for there is no more precious gift that can be given to you than today.  We all have so much and none of us knows exactly how much.  And that makes our time on earth here that much more valuable.  We never know when it is going to run out.

Tags: Bible, cherish the moments, don't despair, God, Greek, it is a gift to enjoy our life, King Solomon, life is a gift, Life is but a vapor, Old Testament, passing time, precious gift, time, time flees, time is valuable, time on earth, time runs out, today is a gift, what's the point?
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What are we really afraid of when it comes to death?  I will try to explore some of my fears.  I am afraid of dying alone.  Most people want to be surrounded by their loved ones when that moment occurs.  People often die alone in hospital beds.

One fear I have as I become older, I become afraid of losing my independence–of becoming dependent on others to take care of all my needs.  No one wants to suffer.

There is always the fear my life has been in vain, that I have squandered my most precious resource–my time.  I read obituaries and feel that person’s life has been summed up in a few paragraphs.  And that is it.

I have to remind myself that it a gift we have received to enjoy the life God gave us.  I am always afraid that I have become the cantankerous man I have often seen in passing.

Someone who hobbles around and the only joy this person gets is to complain about his ailments.  I do not want to become that person and my constant prayer is that as I age I want to grow old with grace.  That thought has been more in my consciousness lately.

Tags: afraid of death, cantankerous man, complain about ailments, consciousness, constant prayer, daily needs, die in hospital beds, dying alone, enjoy life God gave us, fear of losing independence, fears, God, grow old with grace, joy, life in vain, life is a gift, life summed up, loved ones, obituaries, precious resource, squandered time, suffer
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Why can’t people talk openly about death?  It is a mystery but so what.  Death claims us all.  The mortality rate is 100 per cent but no one wants to talk about it.

We act as if it is a curse.  When death occurs in a hospital, patients are just whisked away as if they were never there.  No one wants to die alone.  Dying has become very impersonal.  Thus the hospice movement.

All this is running through my mind when my kidney function worsened and my nephrologist said she might put in motion dialysis and I found out only one third of patients on dialysis survived five years and another said 20 per cent died the first year.

All of a sudden it looked as if I will never see seventy–much less the age my parents died (my Mom was eighty and my Dad was ninety).  I am sixty-one.

It has been three weeks since my last visit with my nephrologist and I was depressed.  I needed to talk about my condition but it was not so easy.  People do not talk openly about death except in passing at best.

I even had difficulty with those closest to me–my wife.  On one level we all know we are going to die but we act as if that is never going to happen.  I just asked for one thing:  I wanted to die with grace.  I just wanted to talk about it and there was no one.

Tags: 61 years old, act like we will never die, death, death is a mystery, depressed, dialysis, die alone, die with grace, difficulty talking about death, dying impersonal, hospice, hospital, kidney function, mortality, mortality rate 100 percent, my parents, my wife, needed to talk, nephrologist, no one to talk to, not a curse, patients whisked away, talk openly about death
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Life is hard.  There is no way to get around that.  In fact, if you resist that fact and rail at the powers to be how hard your life has become, it only gets worse.  ‘Life is difficult!’ in the words of Scott Peck in his book, “The Road Less Traveled.”

Accept what is and at least you are not fighting against yourself.  Gain what control you possess and then rest.

This might make it a little easier.  On a continuum of 1 to ten on how well your life is going 50 per cent of the time it is under 5 and fifty per cent is better than 5.  Most of the time everything evens out.  Maybe that is no consolation when your life feels miserable.

It never does any good to compare your life to others.  Thank the Lord for all the good times as well as your bad times.

Solving problems is what makes every day interesting and gives you a reason to get up every morning.  Life can be hard, so what.  Meet your challenges.

Tags: accept what is, bad times, consolation, continuum, control what you can, don't compare yourself, don't fight yourself, God, good times, gratitude, life feels miserable, life is hard, M. Scott Peck, meet challenges, reason to get up in the morning, rest, solving problems, thank the Lord, the Lord, The Road Less Traveled
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Act as if your day matters.  That means preparing yourself as if you were going to get guests or were going to be in public.  That means to me, first shaving and putting on my Brut.  If I need a shower, taking it.  Getting dressed properly.  Putting on your shoes and clean clothing on.  And not trampsing around the house in slippers.  It really does make a difference in your attitude.  By all this preparation you are telling yourself this day matters and I will not waste it.  You may not feel that right away but the rest of you will follow if you act as if the day matters.

Tags: act as if, be in public, Brut, clean clothing, don't waste the day, get dressed, God, guests, prepare yourself, put on shoes, shaving, slippers, take a shower, your attitude, your day matters
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