Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

Life is never fair.  Nor is giving.  The pendulum swings in a marriage, sometimes, back and forth.  One person gives more of his/herself and then the other.  A vow was made during the marriage ceremonies:  the words “for better or worse” are there for a reason:  bad times will come to a marriage.  There will be illness, lost jobs, money problems and often conflict, which will need to be resolved.  Sometimes an illness will result in one partner taking care of the other, sometimes permanently (the marriage vow “till death do us part” is there for a reason).  The giving then may become totally unbalanced.  Insisting the giving be always 50/50 puts a strain on the marriage and is really unrealistic.  Really all a partner can do is love the other, not being concerned how equal the give and take is.  Insisting or complaining you are giving more consistently always puts a strain on the marriage.  We are commanded in our vows to love the other in sickness or health (or in any, every situation) (my words).  Each partner only gives what he/she can.  Insisting marriage be always 50/50 is always wrong.

Tags: "till death do us part", balance, each partner gives what he/she can, for better or worse, giving, giving may be unbalanced, God, illness, life is not fair, love, love each other, marriage, one person gives more, relationships, time, wedding vows
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Writing is primarily psychological.  First you have to have something to say.  You need to be driven to reach out to an invisible audience, to solve a problem.  You may even know your end point but may not know how you are going to get there or what you are going to expound in the body of your text.

I never overly concerned about grammar (sic! the “fine editor” decided to leave this one as written!).  I know I can or my fine editor, my lovely and talented wife, can go back easily and tell me this or that needs correcting.  To be driven by passion, conflict is far more important.  If the feelings expressed are genuine they will always come through no matter how badly written the piece is.  Expressing yourself honestly and openly is what the reader responds to–not facile-ness.  It can be well written and say nothing.

Having something to say consistently always means providing quiet time for yourself and being able to listen to what the tiny voice inside of you saying:  “this is truly what is important and I want to express that openly to someone.”  Proverbs in the Bible says:  “Be still and know I am God.”

I am not going to discuss the existence of God in this piece but there is no doubt that one must have periods of reflection to continue to write.  Otherwise that person’s ideas will peter out eventually.  One must let his/her mind roam.  And that process is always psychological.  And that process is always a precursor to writing.

Tags: be genuine, Be still and know I am God, Bible, editor, express yourself honestly, feelings, God, have something to say, invisible audience, knowledge, learning, let your mind roam, listen to your tiny voice inside of you, periods of reflection, Proverbs, psychological, quiet time, quiet time for yourself, reflection, siggyscafe.com, the reader, writers, writing
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Making love (the actual physical act) takes very little time in the scheme of things.  Compare the time spent in that opposed to a twenty-four hour day–it is a very small part of your day, week.

Whether you get there is another question.  If I do not treat my wife right the whole day, she will not feel inclined to me even touching her.  Sex is only the tip of the iceberg.

For that matter sex is far more than the physical act, intercourse or even coitus.  It is how you look at each other, talk to one another.  It is communication.  It is working things out between the two of you.

So much is made of it in our society.  Sex is used to sell everything:  cars, soap, you name it.  People fall casually in and out of bed in movies, TV.  Yet we are so puritanical about it.

Sex is really any exchange between the sexes.  From a look to a soft word.  And sex without affection soon runs its course.  What most people do not recognize is we learn about sex and our relationship to our bodies and others from the very beginning when we are in the womb.

Sex is not the most important factor in a relationship though it is extremely private and the only reason in the Bible divorce is permitted is adultery.  The bond of sex is sacred.  And when it is broken, that bond is very difficult to repair and mend.

Sex is only one facet of a relationship.  Honesty and affection are so much more important.  Being able to converse with one another, finding each other interesting after years of being together is so much more important.  Your mate ought to retain some mystique.  I am convinced the institution of marriage was put on this earth for only one purpose:  to get beyond our selves and teach us to love.  Sex is only one way to do that.  Everything else leads to that.

Tags: a look, a soft word, adultery, affection, any exchange between the sexes, Bible, bond of sex is sacred, communication, God, honesty, love, making love, my wife, mystique, relationships, sex, sex is communication, sex used to sell everything, teach us to love
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This (???) is often no need to leave my room.  My music is here.  Each note, each song, each LP, CD and the cassettes I have put together from my vast music collection, they are all universes within universes.  That does not even mention the many books on my shelves.  Then there are the birds I view when the sun comes up and spend hours doing so.  I never have to go too far to explore the next universe.  My mind roams all the time.  And that is just one large room in this house.

Tags: bird-watching, birds, books, cassette, CD, do not have to leave my room, explore the next universe, God, knowledge, learning, LP, music, music collection, my mind roams, nature, songs, time, universes within universes
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I really can’t answer that.  Only you.  Do you listen to the tiny voice only you can hear?  This can be very difficult in a society that values conformity.  There are so many pressures you face–inward and outside.  Your conscience can be a dictator (or free you).  There are no easy answers.  To love another means to be able to reach out to others and forget yourself.  First, though you have to like and love yourself.  Respect starts with you.  If you do not respect yourself how can you possibly respect others?  Listening to a tune of a different drummer (words coined by Thoreau) means having the courage to follow the path only you truly can follow.  There are no lack of people to tell you how to lead your life and somehow you need to respect the lives of those closest to you.  That is truly a balancing act.  Maybe now you can answer that question a little better:  Do you walk to a tune of a different drummer?  Only you know to what degree that might be true.

Tags: balance, different drummer, follow your own path, God, like and love yourself, reach out to others, relationships, respect starts with you, society values conformity, Thoreau, tiny voice only you can hear, tune of a different drummer
Posted in balance, beauty, God, knowledge&learning, life, love, music, relationships, time, wisdom, writing, your job/mission/profession | 1 Comment »

How many times have you heard those four words:  “I’d love to but…”  If the person is truthful, the fact is he/she really wants to do other things more.  Every person prioritizes their life.  This is an on-going process.  Yes, he may want to do that particular thing but not enough.  There are other things that are more important in that person’s life.  It is something that appears attractive for that person to do in his life yet he never gets to it.  Other things keep crowding it out because the other things (if he/she is truthful) are more important to do.  So the next time a person tells you he/she “would love to do that but…”, point this out:  he does not want to do that particular thing enough.  We have so many hours in the day.  We have so much control over our lives but, at some level, we do the things we want to do the most.

Tags: balance, excuses, other things more important, priorities, relationships
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Yes, every person has a spiritual life.  You may invoke the name of God, Jesus, higher power, whatever, there is no escaping that every thing you do, say reflects some kind of spiritual value stated or otherwise.  At some level it does not matter what name you give it.  There is no escaping this.  Every action, every thing, even your thoughts reflect something even if you do not define it yourself.  Every thing you believe is reflected this way.  People around you usually know what you believe in your inmost being given enough time.  Certainly this must be true of those people closest to you:  your significant others–friends, mates who see you under fire.  It is too easy to invoke the name of God.  It is easy to tell another this is what the word of God (whether it is the Bible, the Koran or any other holy book) says but do you really believe this is the truth, this is what you believe in your heart and soul.  Hypocrisy is always recognized by others.  No one likes a phony.

Tags: Bible, God, higher power, holy book, hypocrisy, Jesus, koran, love, phony, relationships, spiritual life, truth, what you believe, Word of God, your inmost being
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I realized this morning I awoke depressed–something that does not happen to me too often.  I was abnormally busy the last two days.  I did not get enough rest and too many things have gone wrong (though small things).  I have to take better care of myself, reduce my work load, eat properly.  I am going to lay low the next few days.  Then, at some point, the depression should lift.

Nothing happens in a vacuum including depression.  There is an intricate relationship between our body and our mind.  My depression is telling me something is wrong, something needs correcting.  I need to take better care of myself.  I have to learn to listen to my body and mind.  Sometimes depression is just a physical thing.  Fatigue is often a factor.  Everyone has limits.  I have to observe mine.

Tags: balance, body and mind related, depression, depression will lift, eat properly, everyone has limits, fatigue, get enough rest, God, knowledge, lay low, learning, listen to my body and mind, mind/body, nothing happens in a vacuum, observe your limits, reduce work load, sometimes depression is physical, take better care of myself, too busy
Posted in balance, God, health, knowledge&learning, life, local, mental health, time, wisdom | 1 Comment »

Every fall it gets taken in and when the warm weather comes again it goes outside.  During the months it is inside it just withers, barely hangs on.  During the summer when it is hung outside from the garage door it perks up, the leaves turn a deep purple and it becomes full and healthy again.  One lesson you can learn from all that is that sometimes all we can do is to get through a season until the conditions improve then you will thrive again just like that wandering jew plant.  And this happens to you on a cyclical basis although not with the precise regularity of the plant.

Tags: conditions improve, cycles, Fall, get through a season, God, knowledge, learning, nature, plant flourishes outside, plant withers indoors, plants, seasons, spring, summer, Wandering Jew plant, will thrive again, winter
Posted in beauty, flowers, God, health, knowledge&learning, life, local, love, mental health, nature, seasons, time, wisdom | No Comments »

Every day I look carefully at my plants.  I mourn when one dies or withers and rejoice when another one flourishes.  I water them carefully.  Sometimes I am not sure how to take care of one properly.  The plants in my house I love.  Sometimes there is nothing I can do about the demise of one even if I move it or give it less water or more.  I have a garden in my house and so do many other people.  Plants are one more example of the wonders in this vast intricate world we live in.  I love watching my plants grow.

Tags: garden, God, love watching plants grow, nature, plants, plants in my house, vast intricate world, water carefully, wonders
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Wonder and mystery is many things.  It is being surprised by a sunset.  Your mind was somewhere else and there it was taking your breath away.  It is knowing you never could have predicted your life and how it was unraveling.  Your wife is a mystery, who you know you did not deserve.  It is so many things you do not understand but strain to.  It is knowing this world could never have been created by man:  it is far too vast and intricate.  That there must be a higher power.  That could be the only answer.  Not that all this is not a mystery.  There is so much I am awed by.  The mystery called sex.  Only God could have created that.  The wind that blows from nowhere and disappears just as quickly.

Knowing your dusk has come and you really have no idea how many dawns will still appear in your life and all you can do is treasure each moment.  Wouldn’t life be boring without mystery and wonder?  And do you have any doubt man was created just below the stature of angels?  And also the universe could not have created by chance.  All that is mystery (and wonder).  So ponder some of those things.

Tags: angels, balance, beauty, God, higher power, how many dawns, knowledge, learning, mystery, mystery called sex, nature, only God, seasons, so much I am awed by, surprised by a sunset, the universe, the wind, time, treasure each moment, vast and intricate world, wonder, world could never have been created by man, your dusk has come, your wife
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To some extent, choosing a good wife (or does she choose you?) is by serendipity.  Certainly a quarrelsome wife can drive you crazy.  There is no doubt some fits are better than others but commitment is the most important factor in the success of a marriage.  It is the glue that keeps it together.  It enables you to ride out bad times and each marriage has their share of rough moments.  The next is, maybe, good communication between both partners.  It is the ability to talk out everything.  A good marriage reduces your stress at home.  God knows you get enough outside the home.  Mutual respect goes a long way.  Working out difficult issues keeps you together.  Proverbs says a good wife is worth their weight in gold.  I have no doubt of this truth so value a good woman.  And do not let her go.

Tags: a good marriage, a good wife, Bible, commitment, communication, glue that keeps you together, God, good wife worth weight in gold, love, marriage, mutual respect, Proverbs, quarrelsome wife, relationships, ride out bad times, serendipity, stress, talk out everything
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