Siggy's Blurbs: Siggy's Edge of Country …

In a marriage each person does what he/she wants within reason.  My wife likes to do the laundry so she does the laundry.  I am driven to make sure we get at least one good meal a day so I do most of the cooking.

She balances the checkbook to the penny.  I never liked doing that so I certainly do not mind.  I stopped even writing in it for I would make small errors in it posting figures and when we got our monthly statement it would take her hours to find the errors.

There are some things I do for she simply won’t do them.  I empty and put new litter in the cat litter boxes.  I do the shopping.  I am not sure why but every time she goes with me we spend too much money.  Besides, she does not like to shop.

I do not like to clean.  She does just about all of it.  I do vacuum occasionally.  I could go on and on.  A couple divides the tasks as much as possible along the lines of what you want to do.

Of course, there are always tasks neither like doing and one person just decides to do them.

Tags: balance the checkbook, cat litter boxes, chores, clean the house, cleaning, cook meals, couples, daily tasks, divide the work, do laundry, grocery shopping, marriage, money, my wife, shopping, vacuum cleaner
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It is so easy to center on what you do not have.  And this always leads to unhappiness.  It is so easy to do:  center on what you lack.  The commercials in the media feed on this.  If you buy their product you will be happy and fulfilled.  Sex is used to sell everything.

Our gross national product is based mostly on consumer buying so this is no accident.  Start centering on your many riches and be satisfied with what you got.  The best things are free.  Love has no cost.  The things that matter the most can be freely given:  acceptance, love and an ear to those closest to you.

It is true:  you need the basics:  food and shelter.  God just needs to provide you with that.  Poverty has always existed in this world.  And we are commanded to help those in need around us.

But we desire so much beyond that.  And it always makes us unhappy.  And I struggle with that, too.  I know money is going to get tighter but if I can focus on everything I have, I will be happier.

Tags: acceptance, be happy and fulfilled, be satisfied with what you have, best things in life are free, center on what you have, commercials in the media, consumer buying, focus on everything I have, food and shelter, God, God provides, God's commandment, happiness, help those in need, love, media uses sex to sell, money, poverty, unhappiness
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When death is knocking at your door, money fades in importance.  It is so easy to delude ourselves:  that your time on this earth is forever.  But when the realization comes it is running out (often due to illness or old age) your money (and possessions) are no longer that important.

All of a sudden other things come to the forefront:  your relationship with loved ones, maybe your legacy also.  Your possessions which maybe you spent a lifetime accumulating do not matter that much.

Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft and the richest person in the whole world, realized that; when he founded with his wife what is today’s largest private foundation pouring in it more and more of his energy and resources (billions of dollars) in that endeavor.

In my case, I can not take my journals, books and music I spent a lifetime collecting with me when I go.  I have to figure out what is truly important in my life.  I do not want to waste time.

Often when someone faces his/her deathbed and realizes the way they spent their time really does not matter.  Your impending death shifts your priorities and also forces you to reexamine your value system.

Too many people die alone because they did not invest time in others.  Did not Jesus say, “When you lose your life, you find it”.  I think that is a paraphrase.

When you are in the dusk of your life, you find out the most valuable commodity you possess is time.  All the money in the world can not buy you one more minute on earth.

That realization forces you to examine your life carefully.  It is never too late to make a change although it is easy to regret the time you lost in fruitless endeavors.  You can never turn back the clock but there is always today.

Tags: accumulating things, Bill Gates, billions of dollars, books, death knocking at your door, deathbed, die alone, do not waste time, dusk of your life, examine your life, fruitless endeavors, God, illness, impending death, invest time in others, Jesus, journals, loved ones, make a change, Microsoft, money, music, never too late, old age, our time on earth, possessions, private foundation, regrets, relationships, richest person in the world, shift your priorities, spend your time, there is always today, time, turn back the clock, when you lose your life you find it, writer, writing, your legacy, your value system
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Suddenly it struck me viewing the discounted book “501 Must Sights Of The World”.  I had no interest in exploring any of these places.  I quickly glanced at some of the magnificent sights in glorious color.

I tried to figure out why I had no desire to travel to any of these exotic places some of which I had never heard.  I was balking at even opening the book to glance through it.

Despite my reservations I bought the beautiful book anyway.  I know my wife will like leafing through it.

I could never let myself dream of traveling.  I never had the funds to travel abroad so I just did not let my mind and curiosity roam.

I knew I never would be able to.  I am the same person who told my wife never to use the word “never”.

All that quickly ran through my head as I deliberated buying the book for a Christmas gift.  There were other issues why I did not desire to travel very much but I will explore them in other blogs.

Tags: beauty, blog, book, Christmas gift, exotic places, explore, money, my wife, nature, never say never, travel, travel abroad, world
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Time is the most precious thing you possess.  All of a sudden, money does not mean anything when you realize your time is running out.

This realization has become sharper to me:  I may not make it to my seventieth birthday.  I am trying to work through my depression that descended after my last visit with my nephrologist.  The report was not good.

I did some research and found out the mortality rate of people put on dialysis was depressing:  over twenty per cent die the first year and over two thirds in a five year period.

I could be facing my end.  Material things did not matter much any more.  Time can not be bought.  It is the most precious thing you possess.  This was all brought to the forefront.  And I did not want to waste it.

Tags: cannot buy time, depressing, depression, dialysis, do not waste time, face my end, material things do not matter much, money, mortality rate, nephrologist, time, time cannot be bought, time is precious, time running out
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What is worst than death?  A few suggestions.  Living and dying at the same time.

Knowing you really do not care how you are spending most of your time.

Knowing deep inside your job is the wrong one and you refuse or are too scared to make any change.

There are too many unresolved conflicts in your life.

Your marriage is “dead” and you are “paralyzed”.

Each day is the same.

You no longer can see beauty.

All you can do is complain.

Money is more important than people.

Each day is not new and blends into each other and you wonder how you spent your time.

In fact, you have no idea where the time went.

Love just seems to be too idealistic.

You can not love or work.

All you feel is pain.

You can not get past your pain.

You forgot how to laugh.

Each day is not a new dawn.

You think you have to go to some far off exotic island, to escape, to enjoy your vacation.

You can not wait to do that.

All your friends have died.

You forgot how to be a friend.

This is just an incomplete list.

And I want to caution there is always two sides to everything.

And it is only my list.

Tags: be a friend, beauty, can no longer see beauty, complain, each day is the same, forgot how to laugh, friends die, God, love, marriage, money, new dawn, pain, scared, time, unresolved conflict, work, worse than death, wrong job
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I thought the tears were gone but they were not ended.  I heard the song Neil Young wrote thirty-seven years ago, “Old Man”, again and I thought of my Dad who died nine years ago.  A little later I burst into tears.

We had such a “rocky” relationship.  Most of my life he did not accept me and we argued a lot particularly about finances:  I knew I did not meet his expectations of a son.  He never told me exactly how.

The last conversation I had with him he told me he was far more impressed with the million dollars his future son-in-law made selling his company than anything I did.

I remember our conversation and was then aware it might be the last time I might talk to him.  He was ninety-one and possibly blind.  His mind was lucid but I had to talk to him slowly.  I tried reasoning with him but to no avail.

He did not value anything I accomplished in my life.  All he valued was money.  I finally gave up and left him in bed.  That was the last time I saw him alive.  He died shortly after.

Although he did not approve of my life I did know the last year or two of his life he loved me.  That was a gift but I wish he would have valued who I truly was a little more.

Anyway, hearing the song “Old Man” brought up memories of my Dad and all the years we “lost”.  I loved him despite how hard he was with me.  In the end he loved me.  That was all that mattered.

Tags: argue about money, expectations, father, God, love, money, my Dad, Neil Young, old age, Old Man, rocky relationship, son, tears, years we lost
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My daughter worked the last eight days.  She is going to spend time with me today.  Father’s Day for her had to be postponed two days.  That is the most precious thing she has–her time.  She does not have much money but she has time.  And no price can be put on that.  Time is invaluable.  Especially when that is all you have.  So squander it on the people you care about.  It is a gift.  You never know for sure when it will run out.

Tags: Father's Day, God, money, my daughter, time, time is a gift, time is precious, work
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I was lying in bed and thinking as I was trying to fall asleep.  I must thank the Lord for everything–even this comfortable bed and pillows I am resting my head on.

Everything Is by grace.  There is no way around that.  You can think otherwise but it is futile.  You can rail how unfair life is but that is futile, too.

Less is always more.  And God does not owe us anything and everything we have is by the grace of God.  Life is never fair:  some people have more and some people have less.  The poor are always among us.  The war on poverty–a campaign by Lyndon Johnson, the president of the United States, in the late sixties was a failure.

It is true each person has to help the other in any way you can but the poor will always be among us.  Blessed are the poor in spirit.  Being poor sometimes forces us to rely on God for our provisions.  Money can insulate us from God.

There is the illusion we can provide for ourselves when we have enough money but that is only an illusion.  We need one another.  No man is an island, the famous words of John Donne.

It is far easier to lead your life with thankfulness.  Gratitude is a blessing and each person needs to reach out to others in any way they can.  In fact, in the Bible it say that if it is in your power to help someone and do not you have committed a sin.

I have to count my blessings each day.  My wife is only here by serendipity.  My attitude of thankfulness for the provisions of the Almighty gives me grace that I can not earn.  And everything is by grace.

Tags: attitude of thankfulness, bed and pillows, Bible, blessed, blessed are the poor in spirit, count my blessings, everything-is-by-grace, God, God does not owe us anything, God's Word, grace of God, gratitude, help others, John Donne, less is more, life is not fair, life-is-unfair, Lyndon Johnson, money, my wife, no man is an island, poor, poverty, president, provisions, reach out to others, rely on God, serendipity, sin, sleep, thank the Lord, thank the Lord for everything, thankful, The Almighty, the Lord, the poor always among us, war on poverty
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I still never forgot the passage from Proverbs in the Bible, which states and this is a paraphrase:  it is better to have a meal with others where much love is displayed and the pickings are thin, than to have a feast where very little love is exhibited.  Of course, the passage stated this much more succinctly.

Everyone has been in a crowd and felt very lonely for he/she did not have one genuine connection with anyone.  Love matters.  It always does.  It dispels fear, worry.

How many people have moved to a strange, unfamiliar area because they knew one person.  One person is all it takes to dispel loneliness and give you the courage to venture out into foreign territory.

Our mate ought to be a helpmate, your best friend, your only lover.  Yet if she/he is the only one it places too much pressure on that person.  It is better to have a network set up of friends–others who also love you too.

The well which you draw from to love others is endless.  Love is infinite.  The more you can give the more you have.  And it comes back ten fold.  It is the only thing that matters.  When everything is stripped from you that is all that is left:  love.  It is the only thing that matters in life.

There are many very lonely millionaires out there who have discovered:  money can’t buy happiness.  The best part about it is love is free.  So give it away.  You will never be disappointed.

Tags: best friend, Bible, friends, give love away, God, helpmate, lonely in a crowd, lonely millionaires, love, love dispels fear and worry, love is infinite, love the only thing that matters, lover, mate, millionaire, money, money can't buy happiness, network of friends, one person, Proverbs
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Greed is a terrible thing.  And money gives you the illusion you do not need Him.  And you do not need others, that you truly are self sufficient.  Besides the fact, that is truly a lie from satan.  Money insulates you from relying on others.

The  fact is the world is interdependent.  We need one another.  This is never more apparent than when we are in a crisis.  Money can not buy “roots”.  Roots take years, decades to develop.  A lot of people do not take the time to develop roots, relationships with others.

When you reach out to others and help others in need, you are developing roots in the community.  It is a question of keeping your ears and eyes open around you.  Needs are there.  You have to figure, how can I reach out to the persons around me.  Your neighbors will tell you.  You just have to pay attention and figure out what can I do which will help this person I am having contact with.  It is just being alert.

What does this have to do with our failing economy?  Hard times force us to rely on one another more, to be more resourceful.  It destroys the illusion we don’t need Him.  And others.  We need one another.  And that is never more apparent than when we are not sure where the next meal is coming from or when we are struggling to pay our bills.  A failing economy puts most people in the same boat.  And we help one another more readily.  A failing economy is not necessarily a bad thing.

Tags: community, economy, God, greed, help others in need, interdependence, knowledge, learning, money, neighbors, politics, reach out to others, relationships, rely on one another, we need God, we need one another
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Sometimes life is fair.  Sometimes it isn’t.  And sometimes it never is.  I am reminded of the famous anecdote of Eisenhower whose mother told him what you have to do is deal with the hand you are dealt with.  The fact life is not fair.  Some people appear to have it very easy.  They have no money worries.  Their life seems to flow.  And there is no doubt money (the lack of) can cause quite a bit of worry.

The fact is we are all unequally gifted.  Some people are very talented:  can do almost anything and be successful.  Some people have more.  Some people have less.  Envy can eat at you.  There is a good reason “Thou shall not covet” is one of the ten commandments.

But when you rail at the higher powers for being so unfair with your worldly station, it only leads to problems and dissatisfaction.  Pray to God with thanksgiving.  There is a reason for that advice in the Bible.

Otherwise we are this whining entity wanting this and that from above.  I think of God being above and millions maybe billions of strings are pulling at him all wanting it a different way.  Realizing everything is by grace and thanking God for all your blessings corrects your dissatisfaction with your life.

Insisting on God (or a higher power) being fair only can frustrate you.  Because life is NOT FAIR.  The serenity prayer is worth repeating and these are not the exact words:  what is in your control change, accept what isn’t and have the wisdom to know the difference.  These are not the exact words but it gets the point across.  Grab the control in your life you can, realize what you have no control of.  And accept the results.  That is the beginning of wisdom.

Tags: accept the results, balance, Bible, blessings, deal the hand you are dealt, Eisenhower, envy, everything-is-by-grace, fairness, gifts, God, knowledge, learning, life is not fair, money, pray to God, relationships, serenity prayer, take control in your life of what you can, talent, ten commandments, thanking God, thanksgiving, thou shall not covet, wisdom
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